


doff we now our gay apparel

by liveonthesun



Category: The Locked Tomb Trilogy | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Christmas Party, F/F, Public Display of Affection, Ugly Holiday Sweaters, background cam/pal, cw alcohol, cw mild drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:21:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28196826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liveonthesun/pseuds/liveonthesun
Summary: Based on the TLT holiday smut fest prompt: Gideon develops a severe case of alcohol-induced-clothing-allergy Harrow has to follow her around trying to persuade her to keep her kit on while simultaneously getting very flustered at seeing random bits of Gideon Skin!
Relationships: Gideon Nav/Harrowhark Nonagesimus
Comments: 6
Kudos: 86
Collections: The Locked Tomb Holiday Smut Festival 2020





	doff we now our gay apparel

**Author's Note:**

> Many many thanks to the discord for egging me on, to elldritch for the title, and to gallpall for the final read-through!

It was the last night everyone would be in the dorms before they all started heading home for Christmas. One of the halls had decided to hold a huge party to end the semester on a bang and everyone's doors were propped open with various forms of drugs and alcohol and levels of partying happening in each room. People would weave through the halls as the night went on, moving from one room to the next to play drinking games and video games and watch movies and say their goodbyes until the school year started back up again.

Harrow wasn't a fan of these parties, not really. Noise and crowds weren't really her thing. But she sometimes went to amuse Gideon who, for some reason, loved getting hammered and making a fool of herself in front of large crowds. It was ridiculous. It was unseemly. It was ridiculously unseemingly charming and Harrow couldn't believe how much she loved this ridiculous unseemly fool.

"It's our senior year," Gideon had said earlier that night. "You don't have a good excuse not to come. Our flight home is the day after tomorrow and you've already packed. It's the last dorm Christmas party we'll ever be able to attend! Harrow, please come with me."

Once Harrow had conceded, Gideon had unfurled a sweater she'd gotten who-knew-when that said "MAKE THE YULETIDE GAY" against a knitted backdrop of the lesbian flag colors and an assortment of holiday iconography and thrown it on and then, much to Harrow's horror, pulled out a smaller version of the same sweater and said, "I got one for you, too."

So here Harrow was, at a party, wearing matching garishly ugly sweaters with her smugly pleased-with-herself girlfriend.

The night was going as usual, Gideon was flitting around talking to people, saying her goodbyes to people she'd only talked to once and would probably never talk to again and getting more and more emotional with each drink she'd had. Harrow kept reminding her they'd all be back here in a month, but the information didn't seem to really penetrate Gideon's skull.

Harrow preferred to pick a spot and stay there, letting anyone who wanted to talk to her do the work of coming to find her themselves. She was perfectly content to let the buzz of activity ebb and flow around her as she read a book or played a game on her phone. Secretly she loved watching Gideon in her element, charming her way through the crowds.

At least she did until she found Gideon's bra balled up between the cushions of the couch they'd been sitting on together before Gideon went to grab another drink.

She found Gideon in the kitchen, an empty jello shot cup in one hand as she flexed her biceps and gave lifting tips to some very impressed frat bros who were all wearing shirts with awful phrases on them like "DICK THE HALLS" and "CHRISTMAS IS CUMMING."

Harrow noticed Gideon had also shed her sweater at some point, which she was cool with since it meant she'd be able to shed her own without feeling guilty about it. But that meant Gideon's tits were very obviously bra-less, sitting low in her red and green flannel button-down, her nipples raised just enough to be visible. God, Harrow loved those tits, loved how it felt to roll her tongue over those nipples.

This was, however, neither the time nor the place.

"You just gotta, like, _curl_ when you lift, dude," Gideon was saying.

Harrow was pretty sure that wasn't even real advice. She cleared her throat as she walked into the room, Gideon's bra clutched in one hand.

"Harrow!" Gideon said when she saw her, her whole face flushed from alcohol and her eyes lighting up when she saw her girlfriend across the room. "Where have you been?"

"On the couch where you left me five minutes ago?"

"Right! Want a jello shot? There's plenty more."

Harrow did not want a jello shot. She was perfectly content occasionally sipping from the one (1) can of White Claw that would last her the whole night. She raised one eyebrow and held out Gideon's bra dangling from one finger. "I think you lost this?"

"Oh, yeah! Can you keep an eye on that for me? It's my favorite and I don't want to lose it."

"You could keep track of it yourself by putting it back on?"

"Harroooooooooowwwwwww, the girls need to be freeeeeeeee. They don't like being contaaaaaaaaaaaaiined."

Ah. Great. It was going to be an "alcohol makes me allergic to clothes" kind of night.

Harrow found her bag and neatly folded Gideon's bra to tuck it inside alongside her own ugly sweater, then set off to find where Gideon had shed hers.

***

Half an hour later she found what she was pretty sure were Gideon's jeans draped over the back of a chair. Which meant Gideon was now trouser-less somewhere. Great.

She found Gideon in the hall's common room, playing beer pong with Camilla Hect. She noticed Palamedes leaning against the wall watching intently, and made her way over to stand next to him.

Before she even said a word he handed her a joint he'd been smoking and she took a couple of drags before passing it back.

"Who's winning, your girlfriend or mine?" she asked.

"Mine. By A lot."

"Is it a fair game?"

"Meaning?"

"Is yours as smashed as mine is?"

"Oh, she absolutely is. Possibly even more. I don't know how she maintains her composure so well no matter how sloshed she gets, but you'd never know she's been doing shots all night."

Pal passed the joint back to her. As she watched the game, Harrow could see how true this was. Cam was focused, taking her time aiming, sinking almost every single one of her shots. 

Gideon had sunk maybe two. One of those Harrow was pretty sure was an accident as it looked like she had been aiming for a cup on the opposite side of the table.

And she was, of course, not wearing her jeans.

"Cam, I'm gonna beat your ass," Gideon shouted joyfully despite all evidence pointing to exactly the opposite.

She was standing in a shallow squatting position, making a show of eye-ing the cup she was aiming for and gearing up to throw her ping-pong ball. Trouserless, her ass and thighs looked delicious as she maintained the squat and Harrow found herself thinking about the night before when she'd sunk her teeth into the line of muscle inside Gideon's thigh and — oh shit she could totally still see the faint mark of a bruise peeking out from the hem of Gideon's boxers.

 _Neither the time nor the place!_ she reminded herself and took a long pull before handing the joint back to Sextus.

"So, uh, how's the party been for you?"

"I'm not drinking," he answered, "I have a final tomorrow — the professor got sick when it was originally scheduled so the class is stuck having to take it first thing in the morning on the day we aren't supposed to have any finals."

"More time to study?" Harrow offers.

"I'd rather just have it done."

"And you're here at this party, why?"

"To make sure Cam doesn't kill anyone, basically. She may seem incredibly composed, but her temper skyrockets when she's drunk. One wrong word from some unsuspecting bystander, and I don't know if they'd be alive tomorrow."

Yeah, that checked.

Gideon finally stopped showboating and took her shot, missing spectacularly and hitting Cam square in the middle of her forehead.

"Well, that's not going to end well," Palamedes says, and pushed himself off the wall with his shoulders to go stop Cam from murdering Gideon with the approximately five hundred ping pong balls she was now hurling at her at full strength.

Harrow went to put Gideon's jeans with the rest of her cast-offs.

***

Having accepted her failure at beer pong, Gideon moved to a room where some awful gay Christmas movie was playing. Harrow, now slightly high, was curled up on the couch next to her, tucked against her side with Gideon’s arm slung over her shoulders. Gideon’s fingers were tracing lines up and down her arm from elbow to shoulder.

Harrow wasn’t paying much attention to the movie, but drowsily enjoying being close to Gideon with her eyes closed and her ears trained on the steady beat of Gideon’s heart and breath. The weed from earlier elevated the softness of Gideon's flannel shirt against her cheek and the warmth of Gideon's hand trailing over her arm. She wanted to stay here forever, balled up warm and cozy against the love of her life.

After about half an hour of cuddling as Gideon nursed a beer and yelled obscenities at the movie for not making any goddamn sense (did Christmas movies ever make any sense?), Harrow felt her fidget and adjusted herself accordingly, keeping herself as tucked close as she could, and brought her hand up to rest on Gideon’s stomach.

Where she met skin.

Fucking hell.

"Griddle," she whispered, close enough for Gideon to hear but hopefully no one else. "Did you really just undo your shirt? In this room? Full of people?"

"I was getting hot!" Gideon said in a voice that probably at least a few people around them definitely heard. "It’s dark in here! And it’s just unbuttoned! I didn’t take it off."

"Oh my god. Gideon. It’s time to go."

"NOooooooo I wanna see how this movie ends?"

"We can watch it ourselves later."

"I won’t like it when I’m sober."

"Tough luck?" Harrow stood up and reached her hand out for Gideon’s, who reluctantly grabbed it and stood herself up with a dramatic huff.

Sure enough the shirt was completely undone. And _fuck_ if that wasn’t hot. Gideon Nav standing there in just her boxers and an undone shirt with the curve of her breasts just visible and her abs on full display. Fuck, Harrow wanted to get her hands on those tits, wanted to mouth her way down her sternum and follow the trail of hair from below her belly button to the elastic of her boxers and further down. She could feel her body getting warmer and her face flushing just thinking about it.

But. 

Time. Place. Etc. She wasn't high enough to forget where they were.

"Let’s _go_ ," she hissed and Gideon must have picked up on something in the tone of her voice or the look in her eye because she smirked and didn’t argue as Harrow led her out of the room.

Halfway back to their dorm room Gideon stopped in her tracks and said, "Harrow. Look up."

She did. 

Of fucking course someone had hung mistletoe in a random spot in the dorm hallway.

Of fucking course Gideon was now crowding her against the wall to bend down and kiss her with all the sloppy drunken fervor she could muster.

It was too wet and there was too much tongue but Harrow had been starving for this all night. She let herself slip a hand under Gideon’s shirt and tease at one of her nipples for just a few seconds, relishing in the way Gideon’s breathing changed as she did.

Gideon pulled away and brought her mouth right to Harrow’s ear, and said, low and warm, "What if I fucked you right here against this wall?"

Harrow almost fell over. Almost grabbed Gideon’s hand and shoved it down her pants herself. Almost shoved her own hand down Gideon’s pants to reach into the warmth of her and feel her come around her fingers and gasp into her mouth.

If Harrow had also been drunk, this might have happened. If she hadn't heard someone wolf-whistle at them as they walked by, this might have happened. But both of those things were true, so she said, "Can we at least make it to our room?"

Gideon huffed out a noise that indicated she would _rather not, actually_ , but Harrow slipped out from her place against the wall and grabbed her hand to lead her back to their room. It was hard with Gideon constantly trying (and sometimes succeeding) to pull her back in for more kissing, but eventually they made it, slammed the door shut, and turned the lock.

None of it was graceful. They fumbled their way to the two twin-sized dorm beds they’d shoved together to make one huge bed. Gideon pushed Harrow down onto it, and then positioned herself over her on hands and knees.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” she said, and Harrow yanked her down by her hair to kiss her some more, her other hand reaching again for the nipple it had been playing with earlier. Gideon tasted like several kinds of alcohol all mixed together in one horny collegiate fuckshow of a cocktail, and the weed on Harrow’s breath didn’t do much to enhance the flavor. Whatever. Gideon’s mouth was on hers and her tongue felt so good against her own and her abs felt so good as she ran her hand down them.

Just as she was about to reach into Gideon’s boxers, she suddenly said, “Oh fuck, I’m gone,” and promptly flopped down on to Harrow’s chest and fell asleep.

Welp.

***

The next morning came too early, the sun glaring through the windows they’d stupidly forgotten to cover before getting in bed.

Gideon was still half-way on Harrow, her head on her chest, a string of drool pooling on Harrow’s shirt. She snored like a goddamn thunderstorm. Harrow realized her mouth tasted awful and she was drenched in sweat from having Gideon on top of her all night, so she wormed her way out from under her and headed to the bathroom to shower and brush her teeth.

She’d been in the shower for about five minutes when the curtain pulled back and Gideon joined her inside.

“How are you feeling?” She asked, knowing the answer.

“Tired but good.” Gideon replied, because of course she never got hangovers, always woke up perfectly sunny and ready for the day no matter how smashed she’d gotten the night before, like some kind of wretched hellhound of a goddess. “What happened last night?”

Harrow had just rinsed the shampoo from her hair and moved to make room for Gideon under the spray of the water.

“You got completely smashed, took off almost all of your clothes, and then tried to fuck me in the hallway when I made you come back to the dorm.”

“Aw, fuck, that would have been hot. Why didn’t you let me?”

“Because people were around?”

“Stupid reason.”

Harrow rolled her eyes in answer.

Gideon was washing her own hair now, her eyes closed and arms stretched over her head as she ran the shampoo through, the lines of her abs tight and her breasts curving high on her chest. She looked so inviting and Harrow couldn't resist the temptation to lean over and run her tongue over one of Gideon's nipples.

Gideon let out a surprised yelp and almost fell over backwards but managed to catch herself on the shower rail just in time.

"Christ, Harrow, warn a girl!" she said, but she was smiling wide and wonderful.

Harrow wrapped her arms around her, resting her head against Gideon's shoulder and trailing her hand further down Gideon's abs and said, "We could always pick up where we left off?"

"Which was where?"

"I was laying down in bed and you were on top of me. I was about to stick my hand down your underwear and then you passed out on top of me."

"Well that was a shitty thing for me to do."

Harrow looked up to see Gideon's face and grinned at her.

"I think I know some ways you could make up for it."

Gideon let out a small chuckle as she rinsed the suds out of her hair and reached for the bottle of body wash.

"Get out and dry yourself off," she said, "gimme five and I'll be right there."

Harrow didn't have to be told twice.

***

By the time Gideon emerged from the bathroom, newly clean and still slightly damp, Harrow had put her wet hair up in a quick bun and situated herself on the bed as she had been the night before, only this time…

Gideon raised an eyebrow and let out a low whistle. "Oh, we're doing that today, are we?" she asked, waving a hand at the strap-on cock Harrow was wearing.

"Maybe," Harrow responded. "Convince me."

"Convince you? You're already wearing it."

"Doesn't mean I have to use it. Convince me."

Harrow could see the gears working in Gideon's brain as she walked toward the bed. Harrow stretched herself out lazily, crooking one leg at the knee to make sure all of her was visible. Gideon situated herself at the end of the bed, her eyes moving over Harrow's body as if calculating how she was going to take her apart.

Harrow wanted to sit up and grab her, pull her back down on top of her and make her run her mouth over every inch of her body. As if reading her mind, Gideon was suddenly there, knees bracketing Harrow's hips and elbows on either side of Harrow's head. Gideon leaned down as if she was going to kiss her, but at the last second changed course and landed her mouth on Harrow's neck instead, teeth raking down the skin of her throat until they hit her collarbone. She kissed along it until she met her sternum, kissing her way down between Harrow's breasts, over her belly, and around the straps holding the dildo in place.

Harrow loved her like this, loved when Gideon just went directly for what she wanted, like it was the only thing she knew how to do. She arched her back and Gideon settled between her legs, moving the straps out of the way and opening her up to taste. Gideon's tongue on her was electric, sparks flying up her body as she slowly devoured her, laving at her cunt and flicking at her clit in turn.

Harrow propped herself up on her elbows for a better view, bringing her hand to stroke at Gideon's head in rhythm with her tongue. Her shoulders were smooth and muscular, rippling with the force of Gideon's enthusiasm. The sight was nearly too much, and Harrow didn't want to come yet, wanted Gideon to work for it, so she laid herself back down and closed her eyes, letting the sensation of touch take over.

She rocked her hips against Gideon's face and Gideon hummed against her in return, sending vibrations running through her, making her cunt the epicenter of a small earthquake. Gideon focused her tongue on Harrow's cunt, bringing her fingers up to circle her clit as she pressed her tongue as far inside Harrow as she could.

It was so good when Gideon fucked her like this, like she was trying to take all of Harrow into herself and indulging herself in the finest delicacy she'd ever find.

Gideon hummed against her again and Harrow's orgasm hit her like a shockwave, rolling through her as she clutched at Gideon's hair, pulling it and rocking herself harder against Gideon's face even as it started to become too much to bear.

When she finally cried out _oh god, no more_ , Gideon raised her head with the the most infuriatingly smug grin covering her face, shining with Harrow's come. She wrapped her fingers around the back of Gideon's neck and pulled her up, kissing the grin off her face and licking her chin clean. _Fuck_ if this wasn't one of her favorite parts of sex.

The smugness was still there when she finally pulled away, and she couldn't have that, couldn't let Gideon rest there in self-satisfaction all morning. She pushed her over and sat on her knees between her legs, running her hands back and forth over the insides of Gideon's thighs.

"God, you're so hot with that on," Gideon said, and Harrow absolutely refused to blush as that, so she channeled all her energy into leaning forward and guiding the cock inside of Gideon. Her face immediately changed, any trace of smugness disappearing as her eyes closed and jaw slackened with the pleasure of Harrow inside her. 

Harrow never teased when she did this — Gideon never wanted her to. Her rhythm was ruthless from the beginning, and it wasn't long until her breaths were coming harder and her litany of _oh, fuck, harrow, harrow_ turned into wordless moans as she drove her hips into her over and over again. Gideon's tits were gorgeous and Harrow couldn't stop herself from leaning forward, bracing her hands on either side of Gideon's body, and taking one into her mouth, biting against the nipple before running her tongue over it and sucking, working in time with the thrust of her hips.

Gideon's orgasm was breathless, a series of shakes and shudders as her body tensed and released itself over and over underneath Harrow. She kept up her pace until Gideon's breathless cries were sobbing pleas for relief, and only then did Harrow let herself slow herself down and roll off of Gideon, tucking herself into the crook of her arm.

They lay there curled up together, breathless and sated, until Gideon huffed out a laugh and said, "Guess I should strip in public for you more often?"  
And Harrow was surprised to find that she couldn't think of a single reason to object.


End file.
